it's too hot outside to masturbate.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
