It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
