he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Randomize
