Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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