I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
