just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
and she was petting her beer can
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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