no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
