Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
