yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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