Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
