why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
