what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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