HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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