Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
