I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize
