just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
