i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
