Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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