You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
