dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
