dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
