i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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