I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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