my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
