none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Use "feeling words"
Yay
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
