And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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