sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
