I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
