I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You're breaking my sexual little heart
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
