Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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