dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
