She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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