So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize
