My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
