You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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