mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
This is the high leading the old right now
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
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