I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
