So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
i've created a new STD.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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