We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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