i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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