Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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