Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
