I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
