this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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