you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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