its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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