I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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