Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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