he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Randomize
