idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
