i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
