His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
FUCK WHALES
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
